Thursday, November 25, 2010

In which I confront my inner Nigella

Oh heck. The festive season looms and in its wake the prospect of entertaining and being entertained. Parties. Nights out in one's best bib and tucker; dressing up in something much smarter than the national dress of Trelystan - about which we will mention only the words, jeans, fleece and wellies.

'Smart' means a trip to the back of the wardrobe and revisiting some old favourites. Add a pretty top and my lovely pearls and all is usually well. We scrub up well round here.

Last night saw the first Christmas dinner - a gentle practice run for all those others which will certainly follow.

I sit at the dressing table, showered, dressed and perfumed, coaxing a strand of hair into place when the thought occurs that from this angle, and dressed like this - I'm wearing a low 'v'-necked cashmere sweater - there is something of the delectably generous Nigella Lawson about me. Perhaps it is the billowing embonpoint..... then I stand up and all illusions vanish. Perhaps it is something to do with her apparent statuesque height and my lack of it. Her body seems firmer somehow and I find myself wondering what erm, underpinnings she uses to keep it all in hand (so to speak).


I'll bet it's nothing like this grotesque ensemble to the left - which I've no wish to wear either. Eurgh! Some of these are even worse. Eurgh, eurgh, eurgh. Just imagine smelling of rubber for a start......

Anyway I breathe in and go out, hoping for the best. A good meal was eaten and afterwards I resolve that should I be offered 'seconds' over the next few weeks I shall conjure up the 'wonderful reducing corset' as a deterrent and politely decline. It might work.

11 comments:

her at home said...

AH yes but Christmas comes but once a year and a few runs up and down that mountain and shifting logs once the winter snow sets in will soon losen the corsets dear!!

Twiglet said...

Oh thank goodness we don't feel obliged to wear the wonderful reducing corset!! I am happy in my skin - so - I am not the sylph size 12 that I was but I am fit and healthy so who cares!!!

Frances said...

Please do embrace your inner, authentic Mountaineer, Mountaineer.

I have heard tell of this Nigella. Even here in the States I think that her tv cooking show might be available to certain cable tv subscribers. One of my shop colleagues is in awe of Nigella.

I have never seen these programs and only know of her through photos and media articles.

I have no idea what sort of infrastructure Nigella uses to achieve her media ready look. While she licks the spoon, etc.

Be yourself.

Enjoy those holiday invitations and have a grand time.

xo

Pondside said...

What if we went in on it together - purchase shares in that miracle garment (or one like it). We could express it back and forth as needed.

Wipso said...

Thats a serious undergarment.....bit like scaffolding :-) No thanks.
A x

elizabethm said...

My grandma used to have one much like that. When you hugged her, which we did often as she was a great hugger, the top and the bottom of her was soft and yielding and comfortable and the middle section was all hard. For some reason when I was little it reminded me of a dustbin.

MBNAD woman said...

Right-oh. I watched Nigella's latest foodie programme on Thursday evening. Yes, she was made-up and coiffed perfectly. Yes, she was wearing some lovely v-necked red sweater that would make me look like I was having a hot flush. In the kitchen - I ask you. But, when she turned away from camera, there were some tell-tale fat rolls. Even Nigella can't hide it ;-)

And the food looked smashing.

Enjoy good food and wear what makes you feel good. Hope you had a great evening.

Mad x

Nikki-ann said...

I hope you're not snowed in! :) No Christmas meals for me yet.

Pam said...

Festivities start here the 3rd week of November with Thanksgiving so by January first I'll look like a big blob. There's no way I'd buy a corsette but I do have a preference for tummy-restricting knickers! X

Fennie said...

Have you read the small print?

"Every breath and every movement brings into play the gentle massaging action of the gentle caressing latex rubber of this corset"

So there. Take my advice, steer clear
- even at 1/6 deposit!

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

When I was little , one of my babysitters was "in corsetry" . Her friend was "in millinery" . They loved coconut cakes and shortbread , rather tight shoes and Franchot Tone.
I'm rather glad we've moved on , myself .