Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Bird dog.

Next time I find myself in need of a new dog will somebody please nudge me in the ribs and remind me that no matter how cute, how snuffly nosed and waggy tailed it is: I Am Not To Choose Another Bull Terrier.

I know beauty is in the eye of the beholder - but I find that noble profile and four-square stance irresistible. They have a certain comic demeanour, appropriately dogged determination and are loyal and loving. But OMG they are they canine equivalents of those machines that the local council uses to clean the streets. They 'hoover' up everything in their paths, sweet/sour, meat, fish or fowl. In fact the fouler the better. Well rotted is good.

The vet told me that Bull Terriers have sensitive stomachs. I hid my bemused grin behind the fist which stifled my splutter of laughter. Hah! They wouldn't be half as sensitive if they didn't chow down on juice cartons, plastic wrap and cotton buds.......

Wilson, his gut rot and I left the vet's surgery armed with antibiotics and a range of proprietary foods guaranteed to cure him. I praised the gods of Veterinary Insurance who would (bless 'em) be footing the bill for the consultation, the sedation, the X Ray and investigation, the blood tests and all the other things it's useful to do a dog when it's knocked out and unable to bite.

I've been giving him his tablets once a day as prescribed. I've measured out small meals of the proprietary foods as instructed - a little spoonful of pappy meat here and a bit of kibble there. None of the beloved kitchen scraps have passed his lips. He's looking quite well now and I think we may have turned a corner.

But what's that? Oh look - there's a blackbird in the fruit cage. It's only a young one - hardly black at all yet......I'll open the door to let it out -

Oh no! Too late......with a mighty blundering crash Wilson has smashed though the netting and with deftness worthy of a cat has caught the bird. Within seconds only its tail feathers can be seen at his lips. Beak, bones, legs, claws and tail, all gone. What a treat. Eaten. I imagine it in his stomach still alive and singing like the Old Woman's Spider which 'Wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her...'

Why do I bother?

10 comments:

Lindsay said...

Rescue Dog tries the same game - he has a small tummy but the eyes of a labrador! Talking of labradors - Mac was sitting down near the breakfast table when a mouse did a runner from under the dresser towards a bookcase. Mac remained absolutely still apart from opening his mouth wide - the mouse ran in - Mac shut his mouth and swallowed. I could not eat breakfast - I just had the image of a mouse wriggling alive down his gullet and wondered how long the mouse suffered!

Ragged Roses said...

Oh good luck with your dog diet! We had to put our cat on a diet last year and we were fighting a losing battle. The sheer embarassment of taking her to be weighed at the vets all got a bit too much and we gave in, but finally after a year she has lost weight and is out and about stalking her prey
Kimx

Wipso said...

Oh bless him. Our 3 work as a team and nothing is sacred. Ive seen mice and birds all meet their fate. When we bought them we read in the Cairn Terrier book that they were originally bred for "catching small rodents in the outdoors". They actually don't mind where they are :-)

WesterWitch/Headmistress said...

Eeeeeek poor blackbird . . . Sassy prefers her prey to be dead deer intestines which the hunter's obligingly leave lying around . . . bleah . . .

LittleBrownDog said...

No, no, no, Mountainear - you should have got a cocker spaniel. They just carry birds around in their jaws all day looking pleased with themselves while the poor bird flaps and squarks until it can flap and squark no more...

On second thoughts...

Hope he gets better soon (sensitive stomach indeed!).

xx

Anonymous said...

very funny!
and as acurate description of a bull terrier i think ive ever read. i say have at least two!. And where was the official bird dog i wonder?, eating corners of toast or tied to a concrete block somwhere no doubt

BULLTERRIERS HOOOOO!

Faith said...

Oh goodness me! I don't think I could cope with that kind of dog. Poor blackbird, I would have found that pretty upsetting. Glad you've got vet insurance!

elizabethm said...

Having seen Wilson I can visualise this to the last wispy feather. Poor old blackbird.
I had a beautiful small bird on my doormat as my present from our cate this morning.
so it goes.

Nikki-ann said...

We had a staffy and my aunty had our staffy's brother. He had to be taken to the vets after eating pebbles from the beach! Pebbles!

Bull terriers are about as daft as they come!

Rachel said...

Gruesome but funny! The fact that it's live prey makes it worse - but perhaps not when you think of what else dogs will eat/drag home/bury in the cat litter...