Saturday, May 30, 2009

A farmer's tan

Yes, the farmer's tan is coming along nicely. A couple of days of sunshine and the light and dark areas of my body have become well delineated. There is a pair of 'Birkenstocked' feet, a phantom watch, sleeve marks and a neat little brown 'v' somewhere above my boobs and below my chin. Around my neck is a pale circlet where I habitually wear a necklace. Cute hey?

The lily-white bits which lurk unseen pose a problem when a radical change of costume is called for. In truth, it's not a real problem on the problem scale of 1- 10, where the state of the economy would be at 11, North Korea 10ish and running out of petrol on the motorway at 5. This is somewhere around -5 probably.

Wednesday is a case in point. A visit to London to collect a cup on behalf of Marton WI at the Royal Albert Hall means something more dressy than jeans and a T shirt is called for. Now obviously this is not an occasion for baring too much flesh (wouldn't want to frighten the WI en masse) but I would have preferred the bits that will get displayed to be less, erm, stencilled. I console myself with the thought that at least I've not been wearing sun glasses so haven't acquired that 'must have' raccoon look.

More about this presentation at a later date - presuming I survive my moment of fame on the platform under the beady eyes of some of the scariest ladies on the planet - the massed ranks of the WI.

5 comments:

Rachel said...

The Royal Albert Hall? The massed ranks of the WI? A cup? Probably a requirement to curtsey? You need to get a spray tan, pronto!

Only kidding. My friend Lesley had one, and what didn't come off on her bedding that night washed off in the shower the next day. The Albert Hall won't have killer lighting, and anyway, you'll be pink with excitement - and nerves about that curtsey - so no one will notice the stencils....

Pondside said...

Woo hoo! Sounds fancy. How old are the masses? - perhaps they won't notice the stencilled look (loved that image!)

Diary Farmer said...

Mrs D F is looking forward to going with you. She has been out in the garden this afternoon just to get that 'country look',and yesterday went to Welshpool for some suitable clothing. Never understood why there never anything in the wardrobe already that 'would do'!!!!

mountainear said...

OMG - I do hope Mrs DF and I have not ended up with identical polka dot dresses...

You should know by now that there is never, ever,anything suitable in the wardrobe.

Kari L√łnning said...

I just read how you survived the cup ceremony, but missed out on any shopping! LOL, all that way and no exploring ... next time?
How fun to read your words as a closing to my day.