Friday, January 03, 2014

In which we mean business


After a brief détente hostilities have recommenced with the moles of Trelystan.

As Moriarty is to Holmes, or Tom to Jerry, so Mr Diggory Diggory Delvet is to the Glam Ass - a lawn excavating foe of the first water. War is declared.

Moles hills are appearing once again on our back lawn which has only just recovered from the last invasion.  It's a fairly neat little patch but hardly a bowling green - frankly it's probably not worth worrying about - but the GA must see it as some sort of challenge. I can't say he hasn't tried.

Brutal looking traps have been set by gloved hands in the correct runs. Lethal pellets have been carefully placed and watered to release their toxic gas. A buzzing battery powered gadget shudders periodically.  The hunting dog occasionally presents us with a well licked corpse. (We speculate these may well have been caught by next door's cat anyway.)

All this to no avail. Hills continue to rise.

It's time to bring on the big guns; the Michael Bublé greetings card.

Open the card and Michael wishes Mum a very Happy Christmas...potentially over and over again, ad infinitum. How irritating is that?

I'm hoping that when the little recorded gizmo is removed from the card and slipped into a mole run the moles will be as alarmed as I was and run for the hills as fast as their stumpy little legs can carry them.

Worth a try I think. Any better ideas gratefully received.


Twiglet said...

Happy New Year!! Good to see you blogging. We still have a slight mole problem - they don't really attack the lawn but we know they are there, silently tunnelling under the flower beds and gravel patch! Lovely wedding pic below. All the best. Jo

Frances said...

Oh mountaineer, how you've made me laugh with this post. I agree that Buble ought to do it. I share your opinion of his ability to repel.

I'm looking forward to an update on those hills.


Mac n' Janet said...

I need this card, we get invaded by moles, oposums and armadillos frequently.

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

That's bound to do the trick !
( Mind you , I first read " a special massage .... " , which might have been worse . )

Cro Magnon said...

I used to have an old English mole trap; it worked every time. Nowadays I have the French equivalent, and it's bloody hopeless. Isn't there a special breed of mole catching cats? I need one desperately!

rachel said...

Moles? Slugs? Snails? I'd give up now, if I were you - Nature always wins, and then there's the karmic factor to consider.....

Anyway, if the Buble message doesn't help, try for a Bieber one - I bet that one will!

Happy New Year from Dog Hair Cottage.

Penguins said...

It was very nice to meet you at Marton VH. Very glad your back on the scene. I have missed reading your articles, keep up the good work.

Pondside said...

It IS you! I was so happy to see a post from you on my sidebar!
I think you may just have hit on something marketable. Just think of the uses - I'd put one in my attic against the mice, or in the chicken coop against the mink. I may be able to get a deal on large order, as Mr Buble is (after all) Canadian and might offer a discount out of patriotism.
Happy New Year to you and yours on the hilltop!

Elizabeth Musgrave said...

What a great idea! So good to see you blogging again. I knew my determination not to take you off my list would send silent blogging wishes your way.
Happy New Year. when you crack the mole problem let us know. Our inadequate strategy is simply stamping on the molehills or collecting the soil but it does look a mess (or attractively rural as I try to persuade myself).

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